tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post5055239185774432040..comments2024-03-28T07:49:04.960+00:00Comments on nickhereandnow: Still togethernickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-5855505902715477422010-11-13T21:58:03.774+00:002010-11-13T21:58:03.774+00:00Mrs Nesbitt - I can only echo your sentiments. Jen...Mrs Nesbitt - I can only echo your sentiments. Jenny and I have made an excellent team. We complement each other in so many ways.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-11801188460130184772010-11-13T18:22:23.763+00:002010-11-13T18:22:23.763+00:0022 years for hubby & I! Best 22 years of my li...22 years for hubby & I! Best 22 years of my life! Bring it on!mrsnesbitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16882736507772457598noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-58534160084152954392010-11-04T13:44:16.616+00:002010-11-04T13:44:16.616+00:00Liz - Yes, that's probably a pretty good rule-...Liz - Yes, that's probably a pretty good rule-of-thumb. It's the major crises, like repossession or a serious illness, that really test the strength of a relationship.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-80566899800650760452010-11-04T11:35:25.781+00:002010-11-04T11:35:25.781+00:00I think if you can get through bad times as well a...I think if you can get through bad times as well as good times together then you've probably found the secret. Even if you don't know what it is.Liz Hindshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04646532093872561703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-58004903164889210422010-11-02T09:27:51.678+00:002010-11-02T09:27:51.678+00:00Secret Agent - I suppose it's possible to be t...Secret Agent - I suppose it's possible to be too compatible, to the point where you just bore each other with your similarities. And as you say, some apparently hugely incompatible couples are somehow good for each other. Who can fathom it out?Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-10626068439168073782010-11-02T03:00:07.430+00:002010-11-02T03:00:07.430+00:00From my work, I can tell you that compatibility is...From my work, I can tell you that compatibility is not really a predictor of people staying together. Some couples who are fairly compatible still don't stay together, some insanely incompatible couples do. I was with someone for 20 years - we were pretty well aligned on politics, humor, parenting, finances and even had a solid sex life right until the end. But it did end.secret agent womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03763879283931347382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-8088723277608692552010-10-31T16:41:45.027+00:002010-10-31T16:41:45.027+00:00Ramana - Yes, I think some people simply can't...Ramana - Yes, I think some people simply can't believe that a couple can be together for umpteen years and actually be happy. Surely they must be going at each other hammer and tongs by now?Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-54200642195469581072010-10-31T14:12:40.224+00:002010-10-31T14:12:40.224+00:00I can relate to your post completely. All those q...I can relate to your post completely. All those questions were asked before Urmeela passed away, and now the questions are different but often the themes go back to how we managed to stay together for 40+ years. I guess that it is difficult to explain quite how that happens when the comfort levels are very high and people cannot accept that it could happen to someone.rummuserhttp://www.rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-33527659928819798842010-10-31T08:39:35.231+00:002010-10-31T08:39:35.231+00:00Kylie - Hey, that's a bit forward. And did you...Kylie - Hey, that's a bit forward. And did you ask them if THEY were getting any?<br /><br />Megan - So which bit is your parents? Chalk and cheese? Bizarre sexual tastes? Crusty old bigot? Now you've got me really curious....Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-69919039968928995072010-10-31T05:58:45.861+00:002010-10-31T05:58:45.861+00:00You never told me you knew my parents.You never told me you knew my parents.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09387041422819664987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-17964024588734610062010-10-31T03:39:19.205+00:002010-10-31T03:39:19.205+00:00am i getting any? is the question that blew me awa...am i getting any? is the question that blew me awaykyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-56754464036919348032010-10-30T22:06:29.289+01:002010-10-30T22:06:29.289+01:00Grannymar - Yes, body language and expressions can...Grannymar - Yes, body language and expressions can give plenty of clues as to the state of the relationship.<br /><br />Kylie - So what have they been too inquisitive about?Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-71755737900732941772010-10-30T21:58:49.426+01:002010-10-30T21:58:49.426+01:00i guess i am famously open but i am able to be sur...i guess i am famously open but i am able to be surprised by some peoples inquisitivenesskyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-79797848258576337932010-10-30T21:06:03.560+01:002010-10-30T21:06:03.560+01:00It is not always necessary to ask those questions,...It is not always necessary to ask those questions, the answers are engraved in the body language particularly the eyes!Grannymarhttp://grannymar.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-25782563849146744852010-10-30T20:56:10.716+01:002010-10-30T20:56:10.716+01:00e - Yes, couples saw things very differently a few...e - Yes, couples saw things very differently a few decades ago. They were more determined to make the relationship last whatever the difficulties. And they stuck together "for the sake of the family". Nowadays people are less willing to keep going regardless.<br /><br />Heart - Your relationship with Flip has obviously changed a great deal. As you say, loyalty and compassion have superseded other qualities that are no longer meaningful.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-63763684712354519672010-10-30T20:13:07.945+01:002010-10-30T20:13:07.945+01:00Flip and I have been together for 19 years, which...Flip and I have been together for 19 years, which is much longer than I ever thought I could be with anyone. A lot has changed for us as he has Alzheimer's and I am his caregiver. I still love the man I married although he recedes a bit more every day and loyalty and simple compassion become more important than the things we used to share. But "we'll always have Paris."heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-37768535874452077772010-10-30T18:58:52.345+01:002010-10-30T18:58:52.345+01:00Nick,
This struck a chord, mostly because I'v...Nick,<br /><br />This struck a chord, mostly because I've never found anyone with whom I would enjoy a long term relationship.<br /><br />People like my grandparents who were married for over fifty years knew that they were in it for the long haul, they also knew that everyday would not be blissful. Additionally, they had a sense of themselves as a family and as part of a larger community. Sometimes I think these things are lacking for people today. Two of their three children were divorced, the other a widower who re-married happily.ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11376645220662546020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-18917868597770556032010-10-30T18:53:45.997+01:002010-10-30T18:53:45.997+01:00www - Respect is important too. Once couples start...www - Respect is important too. Once couples start to undervalue and denigrate each other, the rot has really set in. Like Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-57552842841749737152010-10-30T18:49:51.123+01:002010-10-30T18:49:51.123+01:00Leah - Well, there you are, I rest my case! Tenaci...Leah - Well, there you are, I rest my case! Tenacity and good conversation - I think those would be ingredients in our relationship as well. The intellectual stimulus of sharp conversation is so important.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-17870898468468942202010-10-30T18:48:38.546+01:002010-10-30T18:48:38.546+01:00Nick:
If the couple are obviously happy together f...Nick:<br />If the couple are obviously happy together for me there is always the one word that doesn't appear in too many answers in questionnaires such as this:<br /><br />R.E.S.P.E.C.T.<br /><br />XO<br />WWW<br />PS And I've known enough toxic couples, enough not to give a shite as to what their answers might be.Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-21176609892026660382010-10-30T18:36:31.228+01:002010-10-30T18:36:31.228+01:00Nick, what a funny and well-written post. Sarge a...Nick, what a funny and well-written post. Sarge and I have been together for 20 years and no one's ever asked us how we do it! I wish they would. I would say "tenacity and good conversation, though not necessarily in that order!"<br /><br />xo LeahLeahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14061893047279652658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-65572687551186368942010-10-30T17:21:49.221+01:002010-10-30T17:21:49.221+01:00Kylie - But it might not be inertia, and the appar...Kylie - But it might not be inertia, and the apparent incompatibility may be just your assumption....<br /><br />Those people who ask about your sex life presumably know you're not embarrassed by the subject?<br /><br />Eryl - No, the pic's not us, just a happy-looking couple! What's our secret? Ooh, that would be telling. Well, I guess just plenty of give and take, mutual tolerance and a shared view of the world.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-10674786017696889022010-10-30T12:46:48.612+01:002010-10-30T12:46:48.612+01:00What a lovely couple you are (that is you, I take ...What a lovely couple you are (that is you, I take it) so come on, what's your secret?!Erylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06008344023000459577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-65303902495306336092010-10-30T12:33:09.928+01:002010-10-30T12:33:09.928+01:00when a couple appear incompatible i dont wonder wh...when a couple appear incompatible i dont wonder why they are still together, inertia answers that.<br />i wonder what got them together in the beginning? was it always like this?<br />people have actually asked me about my sex life so not everyone thinks pesonal questions are off limits :)kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.com