tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post341593537608194884..comments2024-03-28T07:49:04.960+00:00Comments on nickhereandnow: Rape dilemmanickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-46452019632979572612010-03-21T17:15:45.954+00:002010-03-21T17:15:45.954+00:00Ramana - Yes, surely the man will be so upset by t...Ramana - Yes, surely the man will be so upset by the claim that it can only damage their relationship?Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-56606526809028453372010-03-21T14:39:37.492+00:002010-03-21T14:39:37.492+00:00By and large, at least that is what I think, it is...By and large, at least that is what I think, it is to make the man's life miserable for a while. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and all that. I have not seen any item reporting all is well that ends well!Rummuserhttp://www.rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-27391781149729644352010-03-19T21:02:51.277+00:002010-03-19T21:02:51.277+00:00Ramana - That's interesting. Presumably the ai...Ramana - That's interesting. Presumably the aim is to get the man to marry her, in which case she withdraws the allegation?Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-4704106199236506452010-03-19T16:57:02.724+00:002010-03-19T16:57:02.724+00:00In India, a new development which has the police h...In India, a new development which has the police happy is of women complaining of rape after living in with a man for a while and when the man says that he does not want to marry her! The news papers report such cases regularly!Rummuserhttp://www.rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-79056894217448798662010-03-18T20:42:55.977+00:002010-03-18T20:42:55.977+00:00Baino - It's true about the lack of witnesses,...Baino - It's true about the lack of witnesses, though I suppose that also applies to other crimes like murder and burglary. Not only is it treated as a sex crime but a pretty trivial one. The distressing aftermath is too often ignored.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-26630377327514968462010-03-18T19:15:25.824+00:002010-03-18T19:15:25.824+00:00This will always be a toughy because rarely are th...This will always be a toughy because rarely are there any witnesses, it's he said, she said although the propensity to accuse the victim does seem to be stronger and the innocent until proven guilty thing doesn't seem to hold for rape which is so often treated as a sex crime when in fact, it's an act of violence. I don't know what the answer is there NickBainohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156193098088048637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-71265984915981262922010-03-17T21:19:10.284+00:002010-03-17T21:19:10.284+00:00Suburbia - If Lady Stern's recommendations are...Suburbia - If Lady Stern's recommendations are carried out, rape victims should get a more sympathetic hearing. But the hospital story is scary indeed.<br /><br />Kylie - I agree dressing like that sends certain messages to certain types of men, but it still doesn't entitle the man to do whatever he wants.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-27683705770760024602010-03-17T21:05:01.174+00:002010-03-17T21:05:01.174+00:00when i say provocative i mean your first scenario ...when i say provocative i mean your first scenario and you are right, no means no. <br />i j ust wish women would understand that if they are too much on display it doesnt engender respect. it shouldnt be like that but it iskyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-51687427472188412772010-03-17T20:59:22.987+00:002010-03-17T20:59:22.987+00:00Both parts of your post are very scary.Both parts of your post are very scary.Suburbiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05352465945711496612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-22872325836480711672010-03-17T13:19:35.570+00:002010-03-17T13:19:35.570+00:00Kylie - I think to some extent "dressing prov...Kylie - I think to some extent "dressing provocatively" is a matter of interpretation. Does that mean microskirt, boob tube, heavy make-up etc or does it mean just wearing a tight dress? One person's provocative is another person's attractive. In any case, however "provocatively" a woman is dressed, a man is not entitled to rape her or to claim that he "led her on". He has to respect a woman's choices and realise she doesn't exist simply for his own pleasure.<br /><br />Well, that's my unswerving feminist line anyway!Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-79876534080320442622010-03-17T10:03:16.907+00:002010-03-17T10:03:16.907+00:00hi nick,
by no means can rape be excused but wome...hi nick,<br /><br />by no means can rape be excused but women who dress provocatively really annoy me. <br />the asking-for-it accusation is ridiculous but if we dress like skanks we are giving the message that it's ok to treat us as objects.kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-18909517262249317802010-03-17T08:15:12.181+00:002010-03-17T08:15:12.181+00:00Bunc - I agree that men can be badly treated too, ...Bunc - I agree that men can be badly treated too, particularly if the rape claim is false, or if the man is victimised because of assumed guilt. But I think a lot of rape victims also feel they are "guilty until proven innocent" because they are not believed or they are seen as "asking for it" in some way.<br /><br />Quicky - Unfortunately chopping it off has the same drawback as capital punishment, that the person might later turn out to be innocent. Better law enforcement is certainly needed, as well as dealing with the elephant in the room which is the male assumption that women are sexual toys.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-64289109082775987752010-03-17T00:02:48.468+00:002010-03-17T00:02:48.468+00:00Tougher punishment (chop it off!) and better train...Tougher punishment (chop it off!) and better training for law enforcement is badly needed.Paddy in BA (Quickroute)https://www.blogger.com/profile/12748161252400814925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-18025050835971965702010-03-17T00:01:10.899+00:002010-03-17T00:01:10.899+00:00This is a very difficult subject and there is no d...This is a very difficult subject and there is no doubt that there are mountains to climb for any woman contemplating a court case over an allegation of rape.<br /><br />At the same time we have to be very careful not to adjust our justice system so much to deal with that problem that we forget that a person is innocent until proven guilty. We cant start treating men as though they are guilty just because they have been accussed.<br /><br />It's a very difficult balance to strike and we still dont seem to have it right. Getting the police and investigators to treat allegations seriously and to act promptly and conduct thorough investigations while treating the alleged victim humanely would be a good start.Bunchttp://ayrshireblog.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-30506534722828081382010-03-16T09:27:14.436+00:002010-03-16T09:27:14.436+00:00www - It's particularly hard when people are t...www - It's particularly hard when people are trying to prove that you were "asking for it" and the man "couldn't help himself".<br /><br />Tattytiara - Exactly. Whatever your behaviour or clothing, no means no and does not mean "Actually I'm gagging for it".<br /><br />e - True, many people still don't accept that rape is not a trivial act, it can cause serious emotional trauma for many years.<br /><br />Heart - The excuses regularly trotted out for rapists are amazing. Apparently it's just impossible for them to keep it in their pants.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-80114985238975965742010-03-16T07:09:56.735+00:002010-03-16T07:09:56.735+00:00In the US, the law is still very much geared towar...In the US, the law is still very much geared toward protecting rapists from being punished for their heinous acts, and there remains a strong tendency to blame the victim. No wonder few women are willing to subject themselves to the further humiliation of confronting their rapists in court.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-42544279034710192882010-03-16T03:23:33.864+00:002010-03-16T03:23:33.864+00:00The solution is better training for law enforcemen...The solution is better training for law enforcement and legal professionals regarding rape and its consequences...and understanding that no means no as another pointed out.<br /><br />Thanks for your remarks about my poem.ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11376645220662546020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-7227901001717456712010-03-16T01:37:46.561+00:002010-03-16T01:37:46.561+00:00It's such a difficult issue, and for so many r...It's such a difficult issue, and for so many reasons. What isn't difficult is getting over the propensity to blame the victim. No means no, whether you're sober and wearing a parka in city hall or drunk and wearing a bikini at a frat party.tattytiarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18408220720084181008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-51811311305638109622010-03-15T22:36:19.417+00:002010-03-15T22:36:19.417+00:00It takes enormous courage to go into an open court...It takes enormous courage to go into an open court and take the chance that your evidence is not going to be believed. No wonder 80%of rape cases remain unprosecuted. As to the solution?<br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.com